Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
