we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
