idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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