He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
