Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
