Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
