he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
