drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
