my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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