He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
