Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
