Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
