is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
