i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
