Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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