Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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