You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize