Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
