Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
