You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
