Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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