Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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