i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
