if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
