So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
