The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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