Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
