Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
