well I can't set my house on fire every night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
