And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
