Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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