ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
