Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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