mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
