You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
