he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
