her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
