Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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