i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
