Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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