There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
