If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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