he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
