Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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