The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
