sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Who died my cat blue again?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
