I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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