He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
