My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
