How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Say something about gay babies.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
