i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
