i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize