Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
