I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
