There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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