there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
as a side note pls kill me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
