I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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